Alanis Morissette Lyrics

Alanis Morissette Lyrics by Albums

2006-03-26T03:48:00.000-08:00

So-Called Chaos [2004]
01 Eight Easy Steps
02 Out Is Through
03 Excuses
04 Doth I Protest Too Much
05 Knees of My Bees
06 So-Called Chaos
07 Not All Me
08 This Grudge
09 Spineless
10 Everything
11 Eight Easy Steps (live)
12 Excuses (live)

Under Rug Swept [2002]
01 21 Things I Want in a Lover
02 Narcissus
03 Hands Clean
04 Flinch
05 So Unsexy
06 Precious Illusions
07 That Particular Time
08 A Man
09 You Owe Me Nothing in Return
10 Surrendering
11 Utopia
12 Sister Blister
13 Sorry 2 Myself

Alanis Unplugged [1999]
01 You Learn
02 Joining You
03 No Pressure over Cappuccino
04 That I Would Be Good
05 Head over Feet
06 Princess Familiar
07 I Was Hoping
08 Ironic
09 These R the Thoughts
10 King of Pain
11 You Oughta Know
12 Uninvited

Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie [1998]
01 Front Row
02 Baba
03 Thank U
04 Are You Still Mad
05 Sympathetic Character
06 That I Would Be Good
07 The Couch
08 Can't Not
09 U R
10 I Was Hoping
11 One
12 Would Not Come
13 Unsent
14 So Pure
15 Joining You
16 Heart of the House
17 Your Congratulations

Jagged Little Pill [1995]
01 All I Really Want
02 You Oughta Know
03 Perfect
04 Hand In My Pocket
05 Right Through You
06 Forgiven
07 You Learn
08 Head Over Feet
09 Mary Jane
10 Ironic
11 Not The Doctor
12 Wake Up
13 You Oughta Know (reprise, some copies)
14 Your House ("hidden" last song)

So-Called Chaos [2004]

2006-03-26T03:44:00.000-08:00

Eight Easy Steps
How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solveable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you

How to keep people at arms length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones who supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone
How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone

[Chorus:]
I'll teach you all this in 8 easy steps
A course of a lifetime you'll never forget
I'll show you how to in 8 easy steps
I'll show you how leaderships looks when tought by the best

How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist
How to play all pious when you're really a hypocrite
How to hate god when you're a player and a spiritualist
How to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success

[Chorus]

I've been doing research for years
I've been practicing my ass off
I've been training my whole life for this moment I swear to you
Culminating just to be this well-versed leader before you

[Chorus]

How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else
How to keep smiling when you're thinking of killing yourself
How to numb a la holic to avoid going within
How to stay stuck in blue by blaming them for everything

[Chorus]

Out Is Through
Every time you raise your voice
I see the greener grass
Every time you run for cover
I see this pasture
Every time we're in a funk
I picture a different choice
Every time we're in a rut
This distant grandeur

My tendency to want to do away feels natural
My urgency to dream of softer places feels understandable

The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better
The only way out is through ultimately
The only way out is through
The only way we'll feel better
The only way out is through ultimately

Every time I'm confused
I think there must be easier ways
Every time our horns are locked on toweling throwing
Every time we're at a loss, we've bolted from difficulty
Anytime we're still made of final bowing

My tendency to want to hide away feels easier and
The tendency is picturing another place comforting to go

The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better
The only way out is through ultimately
The only way out is through
The only way we'll feel better
The only way out is through ultimately

We could just walk away and hide our hands in the sand
We could just call it quits, only to start over again
With somebody else

Every time we're stuck in struggle, I'm down for the count that down
Every time I dream of quick fix I'm swaged
Now I know it's hard when it's through
And I'm damned if I don't know quick fix way
But formerly mistreat me silence now outdated

My tendency to want to run feels unnatural now
The urgency to want to give to you what I want most feels good

The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better
The only way out is through ultimately
The only way out is through
The only way we'll feel better
The only way out is through ultimately

The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better
The only way out is through ultimately
The only way out is through
The only way we'll feel better
The only way out is through ultimately

Excuses
Why no one will help me
I am too dumb I am too smart
They'll not understand me
I am lonely
They'll hate me
And there is not enough time
It's too hard to help me
And god wants me to work
No resting no lazy

These excuses how they served me so well
They've kept me safe
They've kept me stoic
They've kept me locked in my own cell

I'm too far from home
It takes far too much energy
And I cannot afford to
No one will ever see me

These excuses how they served me so well
They've kept me safe
They've kept me stoic
They've kept me locked inside my cell

These excuses how they're so familiar
They've kept me small
They've kept me blocked
They've kept me safe inside my shell

Bringing this into the light
Shakes their foundation
And it clears my side
Now my imagination
Is the only thing that limits
The bar that is raised to the heights

No one can have it all see
I have to they want me to
And I can't let them down
I'll never be happy

These excuses how they served me so well
They've kept me safe
They’ve kept me small
They’ve kept me locked inside my cell

These excuses how they're so familiar
They've kept me small
They've kept me stoic
They've kept me locked inside my cell

Doth I Protest Too Much
I'm not threatened, by every pair of legs you watch go by
I don't cringe when you stare at women, it's just a thing called guy
I don't notice your side ways glances or where your loyalty lies
I'm secure and out of me, it's hard to get a rise

I'm not jealous
I don't get moved my much
I'm not enraged
Not insecure as such
Not going insane
Rational stays in touch
Doth I protest too much?

I'm not tortured by how oft your busy, Cause I've got things to do
I'm not disappointed about how you don't miss you me, cause I don't need you to

I'm not needy
I don't get clingy much
I'm not scared
I'm not afraid as such
I'm not dependent
Rock solid, stays in touch
And Doth I protest too much?

So much energy to prove to you
Who I can't possibly be
So much energy to prove to you
I'm not who you hate for me to be

I'm not saddened
And I don't miss you
Cause I have moved on too
I'm not concerned about your new lover
Cause I have a new lover too

I'm not depressed
I don't get down that much
I'm not despondent
I am not dark as such
I'm never sad
Keep Chin Up, Stays in touch
And Doth I protest too much?

I'm not jealous
I don't get moved my much
I'm not enraged
Not insecure as such
Not going insane
Rational stays in touch
And Doth I protest too much?

Knees of My Bees
we share a culture same vernacular
love of physical humor and time spent alone
you with your penchant for spontaneous events
for sticky and raspy, unearthed and then gone

you are a gift promised sent with a wink
with tendencies for conversations that raise bars
you are a sage who is fueled by compassion
comes to nooks and crannies, is bound for all stars

you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle
you make the knees of my bees weak

you are a spirit that knows of no limit
that knows of no ceiling who baulks at dead-ends
you are a wordsmith who cares for his brothers
not seduced by illusions of fair-weather friends

you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle
you make the knees of my bees weak

you are a vision who lives by the signals of
stomach and intuition as your guide
you are a sliver of god on a platter
who walks what he talks and who cops when he’s lied

you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle
you make the knees of my bees weak
you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle
you make the knees of my bees weak
you make the knees of my bees weak, tremble and buckle
you make the knees of my bees weak

So-Called Chaos
Deadlines, meetings and contracts all breached
D-days and structure responsibility

Have-to's and need-to's and get-to's by three
Eleventh hours and upset employees

I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you’d think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air
I want to drop all these limitations and return to who I was meant to be

Heartburn and headaches and soon-to-be ulcers
Compulsive yearnings non-stop to please others

I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you’d think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air
I want to drop all these limitations at the shoes upon my feet

All wont be lost if I’m governed by my own uniqueness
Stop lights won't work I'll get home sound and safe regardless
Won’t deem me had if I'm led by my own rulelessness
My fire wont quell and I’ll be harm-free and distressless
Trust me

Line towing, and helping, expectations up to living
Inside box obeying, inside line cutting

I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you’d think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air
I want to drop all these limitations at the shoes upon my feet
I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you’d think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air
I want to drop all these limitations and return to who I was meant to be

Not All Me
I rather face all on top of my face
I am the perfect target screen
For your blindly fueled rage
I bare the brunt of your long buried pain
I don't mind helping you out
But I want you to remember my name

It's not all me
It's not all my fault
I need remind you, but I won't take it all on

Past riddled rage
I see the buttons I engage
Is my dignity in place?
I'm all too happy to switch

It's not all me
It's not all my fault
I need remind you, but I won't take it all on

Lest I find my voice
Find the strength to stand up to you
Lest I stay to my limit
And only take on what is mine to

We are a team
I'm here to help mend and rescind
All I trigger unknowingly
A job I hold in high esteem

It's not all me
It's not all my fault
I need remind you, but I won't take it all on

It's not all me
It's not all my fault
I need remind you, but I won't take it all on
I'll only take some of it

This Grudge

Fourteen years
thirty minutes
fifteen seconds I've
held this grudge

Eleven songs
four full journals
thoughts of punishment
I've expended

Not in contact
not a letter
such communication
telepathic
you've been vilified
used as fodder
you deserve a piece
of every record

But who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now
with an antique knot in her stomach?

I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
all this time I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us

Like an abandoned house
dusty covered
furniture
still intact
If I visit it now
will I simply re-live it
somehow gratuitous

But who's still aching now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who is it weighing down
With no gift from time of said healing

I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
all this time I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us

Maybe as I cut the cord
veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as I lay this to rest
dead weight off my shoulders will rise

Here I sit
much determined
ever ill-equipped
to draw this curtain
how this has entertained
validated
and has served me well
ever the victim

But who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down
this load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember

I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that's grown old
For the life of me I've not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us.

Spineless
I won't see my dear friends as much
Male friends especially, I'll no longer be in touch
I'll change my hobbies to match yours
I'll stop reading my favorite books
I won't spend all this selfish time alone
I'll cater to you and hang on your every word

I'll be subservient and spineless
I'll lick your boots as empty shells
I'll be opinion less and silent
I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself

I'll re-define self-sacrifice
Live my life as apologetic compromise
I'll know you need if I rock the boat

I'll be subservient and spineless
I'll lick your boots as empty shells
I'll be opinion less and silent
I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself

I feel this, truly proclaimed will help the curbing of this tendency
I know this sharing of shame will ensure that I won't forget myself so easily

I'll be low maintenance and agreeable
I will not talk about my dreams so much
I'll listen to you for hours, won't need anything

I'll be subservient and spineless
I'll lick your boots as empty shells
I'll be opinion less and silent
I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself

I'll be subservient and spineless
I'll lick your boots as empty shells
I'll be opinion less and silent
I'll be the prettiest appendage to ever lose herself

I feel this, truly proclaimed will help the curbing of this tendency
I know this sharing of shame will ensure that I won't forget myself so easily

Everything
I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I have the bravest heart you’ve ever seen and
You’ve never met anyone as positive as I am sometimes

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else not my own partaking
My passive aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you’ve ever known and
You’ve never met anyone as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist persists and speaks
louder than I know.
What I resist, you love, no matter
how low or high I go

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
You’re still here
You’re still here

Under Rug Swept [2002]

2006-03-26T03:42:00.000-08:00

21 Things I Want in a Lover
Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
That it alone does not equate wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion?
But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny?
à la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime
I'll live like there's no tomorrow

Are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week?
Up for being experimental? are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted? ...curious and communicative...

Narcissus
Dear momma's boy I know you've had your butt licked by your mother
I know you've enjoyed all that attention from her
And every woman graced with your presence after
Dear narcissus boy I know you've never really apologized for anything
I know you've never really taken responsibility
I know you've never really listened to a woman

Dear me-show boy I know you're not really into conflict resolution
Or seeing both sides of every equation
Or having an uninterrupted conversation

And any talk of healthiness
And any talk of connectedness
And any talk of resolving this
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to love you
Try to love you when you really don't want me
To)

Dear egotist boy you've never really had to suffer any consequence
You've never stayed with anyone longer than ten minutes
You'd never understand anyone showing resistance
Dear popular boy I know you're used to getting everything so easily
A stranger to the concept of reciprocity
People honor boys like you in this society

And any talk of selflessness
And any talk of working at this
And any talk of being of service
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to help you try to help you
When you really don't want me to)

You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to ignoring all the rest of us
You go back to the center of your universe

Dear self centered boy I don't know why I still feel affected by you
I've never lasted very long with someone like you
I never did although I have to admit I wanted to
Dear magnetic boy you've never been with anyone who doesn't take your shit
You've never been with anyone who's dared to call you on it
I wonder how you'd be if someone were to call you on it

And any talk of willingness
And any talk of both feet in
And any talk of commitment
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to change you try to
Try to change you when you really don't
Want me to)

You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to being so oblivious
You go back to the center of the universe

Hands Clean
If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my prot¨¦g¨¦ and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
What with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body

Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

Flinch
What's it been over a decade?
It still smarts like it was four minutes ago
We only influenced each other totally
We only bruised each other even more so

What are you my blood? you touch me like you are my blood
What are you my dad? you affect me like you are my dad

How long can a girl be shackled to you
How long before my dignity is reclaimed
How long can a girl stay haunted by you
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name

Where've you been? I heard you moved to my city
My brother saw you somewhere downtown
I'd be paralyzed if I ran into you
My tongue would seize up if we were to meet again

What are you my god? you touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin? you affect me like you are my twin

How long can a girl be tortured by you?
How long before my dignity is reclaimed
And how long can a girl be haunted by you
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name
Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name

So here I am one room away from where I know you're standing
A well-intentioned man told me you just walked in
This man knows not of how this information has affected me
But he knows the colour of the car I just drove away in

What are you my kin? you touch me like you are my kin
What are you my air? you affect me like you are my air

So Unsexy
Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could

Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm 13 again am I 13 for good?

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated

When will you stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?

Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me

Precious Illusions
You'll rescue me right? in the exact same way they never did..
I'll be happy right? when your healing powers kick in

You'll complete me right? then my life can finally begin
I'll be worthy right? only when you realize the gem I am?

But this won't work now the way it once did
And I won't keep it up even though I would love to
Once I know who I'm not then I'll know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim

These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was defenseless
And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends

This ring will me yet as will you knight in shining armor
This pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like water

But this won't work as well as the way it once did
Cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss
And though I know who I'm not I still don't know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim

These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid
And parting with them is like parting with a childhood best friend

I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
I've spent so much time living in survival mode

That Particular Time
My foundation was rocked my tried and true way to deal was to vanish
My departures were old I stood in the room shaking in my boots
At that particular time love had challenged me to stay
At that particular moment I knew not run away again
That particular month I was ready to investigate with you
At that particular time

We thought a break would be good for four months we sat and vacillated
We thought a small time apart would clear up the doubts that were abounding
At that particular time love encouraged me to wait
At that particular moment it helped me to be patient
That particular month we needed time to marinate in what us meant

I've always wanted for you what you've wanted for yourself
And yet I wanted to save us high water or hell
And I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt
And in the meantime I lost myself
In the meantime I lost myself
I'm sorry I lost myself¡.i am

You knew you needed more time time spent alone with no distraction
You felt you needed to fly solo and high to define what you wanted
At that particular love encouraged me to leave
At that particular moment I knew staying with you meant deserting me
That particular month was harder than you'd believe but I still left
At that particular time 1111111111111111
A Man
I am a man as a man I've been told
Bacon is brought to the house in this mold
Born of your bellies I yearn for the cord
Years I have groveled repentance ignored

And I have been blamed
And I have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended

I am man who has grown from a son
Been crucified by enraged women
I am son who was raised by such men
I'm often reminded of the fools I'm among

And I have been shamed
And I have relented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
And I have been shamed
And I have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended

We don't fare well with endless reprimands
We don't do well with a life served as a sentence
This won't work well if you're hell bent on your offence
I am a man who understands your resistance

I am a man who still does what he can
To dispel our archaic reputation
I am a man who has heard all he can
Cuz I don't fare well with endless punishment

Cuz I have been blamed and I have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
And we have been blamed and we have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended

You Owe Me Nothing in Return
I'll give you careless amounts of out right
Acceptance if you want it. I'll give you
Encouragement to choose the path you want if you need it.

You can speak of anger and doubts,
Your fears and freak-outs and I'll hold it.
You can share your so-called
Shamefilled accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it.

And there are no strings attached,
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give.
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have.
I give you thanks for receiving, it's my privilege,
And you owe me nothing in return.

You can ask for space for yourself
And only yourself and I'll grant it.
You can ask for freedom as was
Or time to revel and you'll have it.

You can ask to live by yourself
Or love someone else and I'll support it.
You can ask for anything you want
Anything at all and I'll understand it.

I bet you're wondering when
The next payback you'll eventually drop.
I bet you're wondering when my conditions or policies will force you to cough up.
I bet you're wondering how far you now have danced moved back into dead.

This is the only kind of love
As I understand it that there really is.
You can express your deepest of thruths
Even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it.

You can fall into the abyss
On the way to your bliss
And I'll empathize with.
You can't say that you'll have to skip town
To chase your passion and I'll hear it.
You can leave and hit rock bottom have a mid-life chrisis and I'll hold it.

Surrendering
You were full and fully capable
You were self sufficient and needless
Your house was fully decorated in that sense

You were taken with me to a point
A case of careful what you wish for
But what you knew was enough to begin

And so you called and courted fiercely
So you reached out, entirely fearless
And yet you knew of reservation and how it serves

And I salute you for your courage
And I applaud your perseverance
And I embrace you for your faith in the face of adversarial forces
That I represent

So you were in but not entirely
You were up for this but not totally
You knew how arms length-ing can maintain doubt

And so you fell and you're intact
So you dove in and you're still breathing
So you jumped and you're still flying if not shocked

And I support you in your trusting
And I commend you for your wisdom
And I'm amazed by your surrender in the face of threatening forces
That I represent

You found creative ways to distance
You hid away from much through humor
Your choice of armor was your intellect

And so you felt and you're still here
And so you died and you're still standing
And so you softened and you're still safely in command

Self protection was in times of true danger
Your best defense to mistrust and be wary
Surrendering a feat of unequalled measure
And I'm thrilled to let you in
Overjoyed to be let in in kind

Utopia
We'd gather around all in a room fasten our belts engage in dialogue
We'd all slow down rest without guilt not lie without fear disagree sans
Jugement

We would stay and respond and expand and include and allow and forgive and
Enjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept and admit and divulge and
Open and reach out and speak up

This is utopia this is my utopia
This is my ideal my end in sight
Utopia this is my utopia
This is my nirvana
My ultimate

We'd open our arms we'd all jump in we'd all coast down into safety nets

We would share and listen and support and welcome be propelled by passion not
Invest in outcomes we would breathe and be charmed and amused by difference
Be gentle and make room for every emotion

We'd provide forums we'd all speak out we'd all be heard we'd all feel seen

We'd rise post-obstacle more defined more grateful we would heal be humbled
And be unstoppable we'd hold close and let go and know when to do which we'd
Release and disarm and stand up and feel safe

This is utopia this is my utopia
This is my ideal my end in sight
Utopia this is my utopia
This is my nirvana
My ultimate

Sister Blister
You and me we're cut from the same cloth
It seems to some we famously get along
But you and me are strangers to each other
Cuz you and me: competitive to the bone

Such tragedy to trample on each other with how much we've endured
With the state this land is in

You and me feel joined only by gender
We are not all for one and one for all

Sister blister we fight to please the brothers
We think their acceptance is how we win
They're happy we're climbing over each other
To beg the club of boys to let us in

You and me estranged from the mother
You and me have felt impotent in our skin
You and me have taken it out on each other
You and me disloyal to the feminine

Such a pity to disavow each other with how far we've come
With how strong we've been

You and me are on this pendulum together
You and me with scarcity still fueling

Sister blister we fight to please the brothers
We think their acceptance is how we win
They're happy we're climbing over each other
To beg the club of boys to let us in

We may not have priorities same
We may not even like each other
We may not be hugely anti-men
But such a cost to dishonor a sister

You and me have made it harder for the other
We forget how hard separatism has been
You and me we can help change their minds together
You and me in alignment until the end

Sister blister we fight to please the brothers
We think their acceptance is how we win
They're happy we're climbing over each other
To beg the club of boys to let us in

Alanis Unplugged [1999]

2006-03-26T03:40:00.000-08:00

You Learn
album(s): jagged little pill and alanis unplugged

i recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
i recommend walking around naked in your living room
swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
it feels so good (swimming in your stomache)
wait until the dust settles

you live, you learn
you love, you learn
you cry, you learn
you lose, you learn
you bleed, you learn
you scream, you learn

i recommend bitting off more than you can chew to anyone
i certainly do
i recommend sticking you foot in your mouth at anytime
feel free
throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually, anyway)
the fire trucks are coming up around the bend

you live, you learn
you love, you learn
you cry, you learn
you lose, you learn
you bleed, you learn
you scream, you learn

you grieve, you learn
you choke, you learn
you laugh, you learn
you choose, you learn
you pray, you learn
you ask, you learn
you live, you learn

Joining You
Dear Darlin,
Your mom, my friend
Left a message on my machine
She was frantic
Saying you were talking crazy.

That you wanted to do away with yourself.
Guess she thought I would be the perfect resort
Because we've had this inexplicable connection since our youth

And yes, they're in shock
They are panicked
You and your chronic
Them and their drama
You this embarassment
Us in the middle of this delusion.

If we were our bodies,
If we were our futures,
If we were our defenses,
I'd be joining you.

If we were our culture,
If we were our leaders,
If we were our denials,
I'd be joining you.

I remember vividly a day years ago,
We were camping.
You knew more than you thought you should know.
You said "I don't want ever to be brainwashed"
And you were mindboggling, you were intense.
You were uncomfortable in your own skin.
You were thirsty,
But mostly you were beautiful.

If we were our nametags,
If we were our rejections,
If we were our outcomes,
I'd be joining you.

If we were our indignities,
If we were our successes,
If we were our emotions,
I'd be joining you.

You and I, we're like four year olds.
We want to know why, and how come about everything.
We want to reveal ourselves at will, and speak our minds.
And never talk small talk and be intuitive,
And question mightily, and find God my tortured beacon.

We need to find like-minded companions.

If we were their condemnations,
If we were their projections,
If we were our paranoias, I'd be joining you.

If we were our incomes,
If we were our obsessions,
If we were our afflictions, I'd be joining you.

We need a reflection,
We need a really good memory.
Feel free to call me a little more often.

No Pressure over Cappuccino
And you're like a 90's jesus
And you revel in your psychosis
How dare you
And you sample concepts like hors d'euvres
And you eat their questions for dessert
Is it just me or is it hot in here

And you're like a 90's kennedy
And you're really a million years old
You can't fool me
They'll throw opinions like rocks in riots
And they'll stumble around like hypocrites
Is it just me or is it dark in here?

Well you may never be or have a husband you may never have or hold a child
You will learn to lose everything we are temporary arrangements

And you're like a 90's noah
And they laughed at you as you packed all of your things
And they wonder why you're frustrated
And they wonder why you're so angry
And is it just me or are you fed up?

And may God bless you in your travels in your conquests and queries

That I Would Be Good
Even if I did nothing
That I would be good
Even if I got the thumbs down

That I would be good
If I got and stayed sick
That I would be good
Even if I gained 10 pounds

That I would be fine
Even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good
If I lost my hair and my youth

That I would be great
If I was no longer queen
That I would be grand
If I was not all knowing

That I would be loved
Even when I numb myself
That I would be good
Even when I am overwhelmed

That I would be loved
Even when I was fuming
That I would be good
Even if I was clingy

That I would be good
Even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you

Head over Feet
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

I Was Hoping
As we were talking outside,
It was cold,
We were shivering, yet warmed by the subject matter.

My wife is in the next room,
We've been having troubles you know,
Please don't tell her or anyone,
But I need to talk to somebody.

You said, "Wouldn't it be a shame if I knew how great I was
Five minutes before I died? I'd be filled with such regret
Before I took my last breath."
And I said, "You're willing to tell me this now, and you're not going to die anytime soon."
And I said I haven't been eating chicken,
Or meat,
Or anything.

And you said yes, but you've been wearing leather and laughed and said
We're at the top of the food chain.
And yes you're still a fine woman,
And I cringed.

I was hoping,
I was hoping we could heal each other.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could be raw together.

We left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60's), said
"Good bye, sir. Thank you for your business sir. You're successful and
established, sir, and we like the frequency with which you dine here sir. And
your money."
And when I walked by, they said "Thank you too dear."
I was all pigtails and cords.
And there was a day when I would've said something like,
"Hey dude, I could buy and sell this place, so kiss it."
I too once thought I was owed something.

I was hoping,
I was hoping we could challenge each other.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could crack each other up.

I too thought that when proved wrong, I lost somehow.
I too thought life was cruel.
It's a cycle, really.
You think I'm withdrawing and guilt tripping you.
I think you're insensitive and I don't feel heard.

And I said "Do you believe we are fundamentally judgmental?
Fundamentally evil?"
And you said Yes.
And I said do you believe in revenge, in right or wrong, good or bad?
And you said "Well, what about the man that I saw handcuffed in the emergency
room,
Bleeding after beating his kid, and she threw a shoe at his head.
I think what he did was wrong, and I wouldn't have had a hard time feeling
compassion for him."
I had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged.

I was hoping,
I was hoping we could dance together.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could be creamy together.

Ironic
1) An old man turned 98,
He won the lottery
And died the next day.
It's a black fly in your chardonnay,
It's a death row pardon, 2 minutes too late.

And isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?

-CHORUS-
It's like rain on your wedding day,
It's a free ride when you've already paid.
It's the good advice that you just didn't take,
And who would have thought? It figures.

2) Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly;
He packed his suitcase
And kissed his kids goodbye.
He waited his whole damn life, to take that flight
And when the plane crashed down, he thought:
"Well isn't this nice?"

-CHORUS-

-BRIDGE-
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay
And everything's gone right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong
And everything's blown up in your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's like meeting the man of my dreams, then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic?
Don't you think?
A little too ironic
And yeah, I really do think

-CHORUS-

And life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay
And everything's gone right
And life has a funny way of helping you out
Of helping you out

These R the Thoughts
These are the thoughts that go through my head
In my backyard on a sunday afternoon
When I have the house to myself and I'm not
Expending all that energy on fighting with my boyfriend

Is he the one that I will marry?
Why is it so hard to be objective about myself?
Why do I feel cellularly alone?
Am I supposed to live in this crazy city?
Can blindly continued fear induced regurgitated life-denying
Tradition be overcome?

Where does the money go that I send to those in need?
If we have so much why do some people have nothing still?
Why do I feel frantic when I first wake up in the morning?
Why do you say you are spiritual
Yet you treat people like shit?

How can you say you're close to god
And yet you talk behind my back as though I am not
A part of you? why do I say I'm fine when it's
Obvious I'm not? why's it so hard to tell you what I want?
Why can't you just read my mind?

Why do I fear that the quieter I am the less you will listen?
Why do I care whether you like me or not?
Why is it so hard for me to be angry?
Why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck
And not the other way around?

Will I ever move back to canada?
Can I be with a lover with whom I am a student and a master?
Why am I encouraged to shut my mouth when it gets too close to home?
Why cannot I live in the moment?

King of Pain
Lyrics by sting

There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall
That's my soul up there
There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall
That's my soul up there
There's a blue whale beached by a springtime's ebb
That's my soul up there
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread

There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
There's a black-winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

Queen of pain
I'll always be queen of pain
I'll always be queen of pain

You Oughta Know
I want you to know that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she as preverted as me
Would she go down on you in a theater????
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she would make a really excellent mother

Cause the love that you gave that we madeWasn't able to make it enough for you to be
open wide, no
And everytime you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold meUntil you died 'til you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind youOf the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me of the cross i bare that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap on the face how quickly i was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me
And i'm not going to fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And everytime I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it ...

can you feel it? ??

Uninvited
Uninvited

Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepard meet shepard
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate

Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie [1998]

2006-03-26T03:36:00.000-08:00

Front Row
Do you go to the dungeon.
To find out how to make peace
With your days in the dungeon?

Writing a letter to you didn't make me any more peaceful
Than how I felt when we weren't speaking.
Because I didn't cop to what I did.
I can't love you because we're supposed to have professional boundaries.

I'd like you to be schooled and in awe
As though you were kissed by God full on the lips.

I'm in the front row
The front row with popcorn.
I get to see you close up.

I'm too tired to recount the unpleasantries one by one one minutes I want to
Banish you the next I want to be on a deserted island with you along with my
Three favorite cd's ambivalent yet in your bed we've yet to acknowledge what
Really happened.

Slid into the ditch.
I have this overwhelming loss of ambition
We said let's name thirty good reasons why we shouldn't be together.
I started by saying things like 'you smoke' 'you live in new jersey'
You started saying things like 'you belong to the world'
All of which could have been easily refuted but the conversation was
Hypothetical
I am totally short of breath for you why can't you shut your stuff off.

I'm in the front row,
The front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up.

And I laughed until my lungs hurt I love how you bust my chops you don't
Always feel seen sometimes you feel erasable unfortunately I cannot
Reciprocate in my current state I think we should be careful of how much time
We spend together.

For a while I'm speaking
You know how much you hate to be interrupted
Maybe spend some time alone fill up your proverbial cup
So that it doesn't always have to be about you
I've been wanting your undivided attention
I like the fact that you're nothing like me
Are you not burdoned by the lack of perspective people
Have of your charmed life (seemingly)?

I'm in the front row
The front row with popcorn
I get to see you see you close up.

You never meant to be ungrateful nor held up to be whipped or wept for
Certainly not analyzed prodded at more ways than one apparently you've been
Misrepresented dealing with the concept of arrows being slung towards your
Outrageous fortune.

Hey I'm not mad at you guardian
I'm mad at myself for spending so much time with you and your jeckyl and
Hydeness
I'm glad I figuratively slapped you on the wrist
You laughed a wicked laugh and said 'come here let me clip your wings'
(I know he's blood but you can still turn him away you don't owe him anything)

'raise the roof' he yelled 'yeah raise the roof' I yelled back.
(unfortunately you need a health scare to reprioritize)
No thanks to the soap box.
Having me rile against them won't make an ounce of difference.

I'm in the front row the front row with popcorn. I get to see you see you
Close up.

Oh the things I've done for you many a sitch a friend a man's been left for
You oh the books I've read for you the tongues I've bitten for you many a new
City for you many a risk taken for you (not a single regret).

Baba
I've seen them kneel with faded breath for the ritual
I've watched this experiance with psuedo higher levels
I've watched them leave their family in pursuit of their nirvana
I've seen them coming to line up from switzerland and america

How long will this take, baba?
How long have we been sleeping?
Do you see me hanging on to every word you say?
How soon will I be holy?
How much will this cost, guru?
How much longer 'till you've completely absolved me?

I've seen them give their drugs in places of natured alters
I've heard them chanting kali, kali, frantically
I've heard them rodely repeat you teachers with iditism
I've seen them boasting the roads, and forgein dangle woods, beat

How long will this take, baba?
How long have we been sleeping?
Do you see me hanging on to every word you say?
How soon will I be holy?
How much will this cost, guru?
How much longer 'till you've completely absolved me?

Ave maria, ave maria...

I've seen them overlooking God in their own essance
I've seen their upward glances in hopes of instant salvation
I've seen their ritcheouness mixed with their own loving confessions
I've watched you smile at the people who bowed to kiss your feet

How long will this take, baba?
How long have we been sleeping?
Do you see me hanging on to every word you say?
How soon will I be holy?
How much will this cost, guru?
How much longer 'till you've completely absolved me?

Give me strength all knowing one
How long 'till enlightenment?
How much longer 'till you've completely absolved me?

Ave maria, ave maria, ave maria, ave maria

Thank U
How about getting off of these antibiotics
How about stopping eating when I'm filled up
How about them transparent dangling carrots
How about that ever elusive kudo

Thank you india
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

How about me not blaming you for everything
How about me enjoying the moment for once
How about how good it feels to finally forgive you
How about grieving it all one at a time

Thank you india
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

The moment I let go of it was
The moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it was
The moment I touched down

How about no longer being masochistic
How about remembering your divinity
How about unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How about not equating death with stopping

Thank you india
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence

Yeah yeah
Ahh ohhh
Ahhh ho oh
Ahhh ho ohhhhhh
Yeaahhhh yeahh

Are You Still Mad
Are you still mad I kicked you out of bed?
Are you still mad I gave you ultimatums?
Are you still mad I compared you to all
My forty year old male friends?
Are you still mad I shared our problems
With everybody?

Are you still mad I had a an emotional affair?
Are you still mad I tried to mold you into
Who I wanted you to be?
Are you still mad I didn't trust your intentions?
Of course you are
Of course you are

Are you still mad that I flirted wildly?
Are you still mad I had a tendency to mother you?
Are you still mad that I had one foot out the door?
Are you still mad that we slept together even after
We had ended it?
Of course you are
Of course you are

Are you still mad I wore the pants most of the time?
Are you still mad that I seemed to focus
Only on your potential?
Are you still mad that I threw in the towel?
Are you still mad that I gave up long before you did?
Of course you are
Of course you are

Sympathetic Character
I was afraid you'd hit me if I'd spoken up.
I was afraid of your physical strength.
I was afraid you'd hit below the belt.
I was afraid of your sucker punch.
I was afraid of your reducing me,
I was afraid of your alcohol breath.
I was afraid of your complete disregard for me.
I was afraid of your temper,
I was afraid of handles being flown off.
I was afraid of holes being punched into walls.
I was afraid of your testosterone.

I have as much rage as you have.
I have as much pain as you do.
I've lived as much hell as you have.
And I've kept mine bubbling under for you.

You were my best friend
You were my lover.
You were my mentor.
You were my brother.
You were my partner.
You were my teacher.
You were my very own sympathetic character.

I was afraid of verbal daggers.
I was afraid of the calm before the storm.
I was afraid of for my own bones.
I was afraid of your seduction.
I was afraid of your coercion.
I was afraid of your rejection.
I was afraid of your intimidation.
I was afraid of your punishment.
I was afraid of your icy silences.
I was afraid of your volume.
I was afraid of your manipulation.
I was afraid of your explosions.

I have as much rage as you have.
I have as much pain as you do.
I've lived as much hell as you have.
And I've kept mine bubbling under for you.

(chorus - chorus)
You were my keeper.
You were my anchor.
You were my family.
You were my savior.
And therein lay the issue.
And therein lay the problem.

That I Would Be Good
That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

That I would be fine even even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing

That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy

That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you

The Couch
You hadn't seen your father in such a long time.
He died in the arms of his lover.
How dare he?
Your mother never left the house.
She never married anyone else,
You took it upon yourself to console her.

You reminded her so much of your father,
So you were banished
And you wonder why you're so hypersensitive.
And why you can't trust anyone but us.
But then how can I begin to forgive her?
So many years under bridges with dirty water.
She was foolish and selfish and cowardly if you ask me.

I don't know where to begin in all my 50 odd years.
I have been silently suffering and adapting, perpetuating, and enduring.
Who are you younger generation to tell me that I have unresolved problems?
Not many examples of fruits of this type of excruciating labor.

How can you just throw words around like grieve and heal and mourn?
I feel fine, we may not have been born as awake as you were.
It was much harder in those days, we had paper routes uphill both ways.
We went from school to a job to wife to instant parenthood.

I walked into his office, I felt so self-conscious on the couch.
He was sitting down across from me, he was writing down his hypothesis.
I don't know.
I've got a loving supportive wife who doesn't know how involved she should
Get.
You say his interjecting was him just calling me on my shit?

Just the other day, my sweet daughter, I was driving past 203.
I walked up the stairs in my mind's eye.
I remember how they would creak loudly.
She was only responsive with a drink,
He was only responsive by photo.
I was only trying to be the best big brother I could.

I've walked sometimes confused sometimes ready to crack open wide.
Sometimes indignant, sometimes raw.
Can you imagine I pay him 75 dollars an hour sometimes?
It feels like highway robbery.
And sometimes it's peanuts.
I wish it could last a couple more hours.

So here we both are battling similar demons (not coincidentally)
You see in getting beyond knowing it slowly intellectually,
You're not relinquishing your majesty.
You are wise, you are warm, you are courageous, you are big.
And I love you more now than I ever have in my whole life.

Can't Not
I'd be lying if I said I was completely unscathed,
Would I be putting it right with my silence and rage
Would I be letting you in; invite a reaction, yeah?
And how would I explain
How would I explain this to my children if I had them?

Because I can't not
Because I can't not
Because I can't not win without my losing, my dear

Would it be whining if I said I needed a hug?
Would you feel slighted if I said your love's not enough?
And how dare I complain?
And how dare I complain when you want for a chance for this?

Because I can't not
Because I can't not
Because I can't help laugh at your delusions
Because I can't not
Because I can't not
Because I can't help wonder why you ask me

To all the unheard children in the school yard
You think you're the right ones
You swear you're the charmed ones I'm sure
But how can you go on with such conviction?
Who do you think you are when you question me?

Because we can't not
Because we can't not
Because we can't help laugh at your delusions
Because we can't not

Why do you affect me?
Why do you affect me still?
Why do you hinder me?
Why do you hinder me still?

Because I can't not
Because I can't not
Because I can't not walk without my crutches

U R
Burn the books they've got too many names and psychoses
All this incriminating evidence would surely haunt me
If someone broke into my house

Suits in the living room
Do you realize guys I was born in 1974
We've got someone here to explain your publishing
We know how much you love to be in front of audiences

Hopeful you are
Schoolbound you are
Naive you are
Driven you are

Take a trip to new york with your guardian
And your fake identification
When they said 'is there something anything
You'd like to know young lady? '
You said 'yes I'd like to know what kind of people
I'll be dealing with'

Precocious you are
Headstrong you are
Terrified you are
Ahead of your time you are

Don't mind our staring but
We're surprised you're not in a far-gone asylum
We're surprised you didn't crack up
Lord knows that we would've
We would've liked to have been there
But you keep pushing us away

Resilient you are
Big time you are
Ruthless you are
Precious you are

I Was Hoping
As we were talking outside,
It was cold,
We were shivering, yet warmed by the subject matter.

My wife is in the next room,
We've been having troubles you know,
Please don't tell her or anyone,
But I need to talk to somebody.

You said, 'wouldn't it be a shame if I knew how great I was
Five minutes before I died? I'd be filled with such regret
Before I took my last breath.'
And I said, 'you're willing to tell me this now, and you're not going to die
Anytime soon.'
And I said I haven't been eating chicken,
Or meat,
Or anything.

And you said yes, but you've been wearing leather and laughed and said
We're at the top of the food chain.
And yes you're still a fine woman,
And I cringed.

I was hoping,
I was hoping we could heal each other.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could be raw together.

We left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60's), said
'good bye, sir. thank you for your business sir. you're successful and
Established, sir, and we like the frequency with which you dine here sir. and
Your money.'
And when I walked by, they said 'thank you too dear.'
I was all pigtails and cords.
And there was a day when I would've said something like,
'hey dude, I could buy and sell this place, so kiss it.'
I too once thought I was owed something.

I was hoping,
I was hoping we could challenge each other.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could crack each other up.

I too thought that when proved wrong, I lost somehow.
I too thought life was cruel.
It's a cycle, really.
You think I'm withdrawing and guilt tripping you.
I think you're insensitive and I don't feel heard.

And I said 'do you believe we are fundamentally judgmental?
Fundamentally evil? '
And you said yes.
And I said do you believe in revenge, in right or wrong, good or bad?
And you said 'well, what about the man that I saw handcuffed in the emergency
Room,
Bleeding after beating his kid, and she threw a shoe at his head.
I think what he did was wrong, and I wouldn't have had a hard time feeling
Compassion for him.'
I had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged.

I was hoping,
I was hoping we could dance together.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could be creamy together.

One
I am the biggest hypocrite
I've been undeniably jealous
I have been loud and pretentious
I have been utterly threatened

I've gotten candy for my self-interest
The sexy treadmill capitalist
Heaven forbid I be criticized
Heaven forbid I be ignored

I have abused my power forgive me
You mean we actually are all one
One one one one one one one

I've been out of reach and separatist
Heaven forbid average (whatever average means)
I have compensated for my
Days of powerlessness

I have abused my so-called power forgive me
You mean we actually are all one
One one one one one one one

Did you just call her amazing?
Surely we both can't be amazing!
And give up my hard earned status
As fabulous freak of nature?

I have abused my power forgive me
You mean we actually are all... one
One one one one one one one

Always looked good on paper
Sounded good in theory

Would Not Come
If I make a lot of tinsel then people will want to.
If I am hardened, no fear of further abandonment.
If I am famous, then maybe I'll feel good in this skin.
If I am cultured, my words will somehow garner respect.

I would throw a party, still it would not come.
I would bike, run, swim, and still it would not come.
I'd go traveling and still it would not come.
I would starve myself and still it would not come.

If I'm masculine, I will be taken more seriously.
If I take a break, it would make me irresponsible.
If I'm elusive, I will surely be sought after often.
If I need assistance, then I must be incapable.

I'd be filthy rich, and still it would not come.
I would seduce them, and still it would not come.
I would drink vodka, and still it would not come.
I'd have an orgasm, and still it would not come.

If I accumulate knowledge, I'll be impenetrable.
If I am aloof, no one will know when they strike a nerve.
If I keep my mouth shut, the boat will not have to be rocked.
If I am vulnerable, I will be trampled upon.

I would go shopping, and still it would not come.
I'd leave the country, and still it would not come.
I would scream and rebel, still it would not come.
I would stuff my face, and still it would not come.

I'd be productive, and still it would not come.
I'd be celebrated, and still it would not come.
I'd be the hero, and still it would not come.
I'd renunciate, and still it would not come.

Unsent
Dear matthew, I like you a lot.
I realize you're in a relationship with someone right now,
And I respect that.
I would like you to know that if you're ever single in the future,
And you want to come visit me in california,
I would be open to spending time with you,
And finding out how old you were when you wrote your first song.

Dear jonathan, I liked you too much.
I used to be attracted to boys who would lie to me,
And think solely about themselves,
And you were plenty self-destructive for my taste at the time.
I used to say the more tragic the better.
The truth is, whenever I think of the early 90's,
Your face comes up with a vengeance like it was yesterday.

Dear terrance, I love you muchly.
You've been nothing but open hearted,
And emotionally available and supportive,
And nurturing, and consummately there for me.
I kept drawing you in and pushing you away,
I remember how beautiful it was to fall asleep on your couch,
And cry in front of you for the first time.
You were the best platform from which to jump beyond myself.
What was wrong with me?

Dear marcus, you rocked my world.
You had a charismatic way about you with the woman,
And you got me seriously thinking about spirituality.
And you wouldn't let me get away with kicking my own ass.
But I could never really feel relaxed,
And looked out for around you, though,
And that stopped us from going any further than we did.
And it's kinda too bad,
Because we could've had much more fun.

Dear lou, we learned so much.
I realize we won't be able to talk for some time,
And I understand that as I do you.
The long distance thing was the hardest,
And we did as well as we could.
We were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives.
I will always have your back and be curious about you,
About your career,
Your whereabouts.

So Pure
You from new york,
You are so relevant.
You reduce me to cosmic tears.

Luminous moreso than most anyone.
Unapologetically alive.
Knot in my stomach,
And lump in my throat.

I love you when you dance,
When you freestyle in trance,
So pure, such an expression.

Supposed former infatuation junkie.
I sink three pointers,
And you wax poetically.

I love you when you dance,
When you freestyle in trance,
So pure, such an expression.

Let's grease the wheel over tea.
Let's discuss things in confidence.
Let's be outspoken, let's be ridiculous,
Let's solve all the worlds problems.

I love you when you dance,
When you freestyle in trace,
So pure, such an expression.

Joining You
Dear darlin,
Your mom, my friend
Left a message on my machine
She was frantic
Saying you were talking crazy.

That you wanted to do away with yourself.
Guess she thought I would be the perfect resort
Because we've had this inexplicable connection since our youth

And yes, they're in shock
They are panicked
You and your chronic
Them and their drama
You this embarassment
Us in the middle of this delusion.

If we were our bodies,
If we were our futures,
If we were our defenses,
I'd be joining you.

If we were our culture,
If we were our leaders,
If we were our denials,
I'd be joining you.

I remember vividly a day years ago,
We were camping.
You knew more than you thought you should know.
You said 'i don't want ever to be brainwashed'
And you were mindboggling, you were intense.
You were uncomfortable in your own skin.
You were thirsty,
But mostly you were beautiful.

If we were our nametags,
If we were our rejections,
If we were our outcomes,
I'd be joining you.

If we were our indignities,
If we were our successes,
If we were our emotions,
I'd be joining you.

You and i, we're like four year olds.
We want to know why, and how come about everything.
We want to reveal ourselves at will, and speak our minds.
And never talk small talk and be intuitive,
And question mightily, and find God my tortured beacon.

We need to find like-minded companions.

If we were their condemnations,
If we were their projections,
If we were our paranoias, I'd be joining you.

If we were our incomes,
If we were our obsessions,
If we were our afflictions, I'd be joining you.

We need a reflection,
We need a really good memory.
Feel free to call me a little more often.

Heart of the House
You are the original template.
You are the original exemplary.
How seen were you, actually?
How revered were you (honestly) at the time?

Why pleased with your low maintenance?
Where was your ally, your partner in feminine crime?

Oh, mother, who's your buddy?
Oh, mother, who's got your back?
The heart of the house,
The heart of the house.
All hail the goddess.

You were 'good 'ol'
You were 'count on'er til four am'
You saw me run from the house
In the snow melodramatically.

Oh, mother, who's your sister?
Oh, mother, who's your friend?
The heart of the house.
The heart of the house.
All hail the goddess.

We left the men and we went for a walk in the gatineaus
And talked like women,
Like women to women would.
Womyn to womyn would 'where did you get that from?
Must've been your father, your dad.'

I got it from you, I got it from you.

Do you see yourself in my gypsy garage sale ways?
In my fits of laughter?
In my tinkerbell tendencies?
In my lack of color coordination?

Your Congratulations
I wouldn't have compromised as much.
So much of myself for fear of having you hating me.
I would've sung so loudly,
It would've cracked myself.

I became so self-conscious of anything exuberant.
I wouldn't have sold myself short.
I wouldn't have kept my eyes glued to the ground.

If I had've known my invisibility would not make a difference,
I would've run around screaming proudly at the top of my voice.
I wouldn't have said it was in fact luck,
I'm talking idealism here.

I would not have been so self-deprecating,
I wouldn't have cowered for fear of having my eyes scratched out.
I wouldn't have cut my comfort off.
I wouldn't have feigned needlessness.
I would not have discredited every one of their compliments.

It was your approval I wanted.
Your congratulations.

Jagged Little Pill [1995]

2006-03-26T03:27:00.000-08:00

All I Really Want
Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
and you say how appropriate
I don't want to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it
There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
If only I could hunt the hunter

And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance

Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and spit it out
I'm frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the Maker
And I'm fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature

What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred

Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Falling all around... all around

Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?
Did yo uthink about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you're gonna die
Or did you olong for hte next distraction
And all I need now is intellectual intercourse
A sould to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no cencept of time other an it is flying
If only I could kill the killer

All I really want is some peace man
A place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice

You Oughta Know
I want you to know that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theater?
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're still alive

(chorus)
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap on the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're still alive

(repeat chorus)

Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me
And i'm not going to fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And everytime I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it ... well can you feel it?

(repeat chorus)

Perfect
Sometimes is never quite enough
If you're flawless, then you'll win my love
Don't forget to win first place
Don't forget to keep that smile on your face

Be a good boy
Try a little harder
You've got to measure up
And make me prouder

How long before you screw it up
How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up
With everything I do for you
The least you can do is keep quiet

Be a good girl
You've gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn't good enough
To make us proud

I'll live through you
I'll make you what I never was
If you're the best, then maybe so am I
Compared to him compared to her
I'm doing this for your own damn good
You'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem... why are you crying

Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn't fast enough
To make us happy
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect

Hand In My Pocket
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everthing's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other is flicking a cigarette
What is all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
What it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab...

Right Through You
Wait a minute, man
You mispronounced my name
You dind't wait for all the information
Before you turned me away
Wait a minute sir
You kind of hurt my feelings
You see me as a sweet back-loaded puppet
And you've got a meal ticket taste

(chorus)
I see right through you
I know right through you
I feel right through you
I walk right through you

You took me for a joke
You took me for a child
You took a long hard look at my ass
And then played golf for a while
You shake is like a fish
You pat me on the head
You took me out to wine dine 69 me
But didn't hear a damn word I said

(repeat chorus)

Hello Mr. Man
You didn't think I'd come back
You didn't think I'd show up with my army
And this ammunition on my back
Now that I'm Miss Thing
Now that I'm a zillionaire
You scan the credits for your name
And wonder why it's not there

(repeat chorus)

Forgiven
You know how us Catholic girls can be
We make up for so much time a little too late
I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priests
I'll see you next Sunday

(chorus)
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did

I sang Alleluia in the choir
I confessed my darkest deeds to an envious man
My brothers they never went blind for what they did
But I may as well have
In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son
I had one more stupid question

(repeat chorus)

What I learned I rejected but I believe again
I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition
If I jump in this fountain, will I be forgiven

(repeat chorus)

We all had delusions in our head
We all had our minds made up for us
We had to belive in something
So we did

You Learn
I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

(chorus)
You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

(repeat chorus)

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

(repeat chorus)

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

Head Over Feet
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

(chorus)
You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is think and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

(repeat chorus)

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

(repeat chorus)

Mary Jane
What's the matter Mary Jane, you had a hard day
As you place the don't disturb sign on the door
You lost your place in line again, what a pity
You never seem to want to dance anymore

It'sa long way down
On this roller coaster
The last chance streetcar
Went off the track
And you're on it

I hear you're counting sheep again Mary Jane
What's the point of trying' to dream anymore
I hear you're losing weight again Mary Jane
Do you ever wonder who you're losing it for

Well it's full speed baby
In the wrong direction
There's a few more bruises
If that's the way
You insist on heading

Please be honest Mary Jane
Are you happy
Please don't censor your trears

You're the sweet crusader
And you're on your way
You're the last great innocent
And that's why I love you

So take this moment Mary Jane and be selfish
Worry not about the cars that go by
All that matters Mary Jane is your freedom
Keep warm my dear, keep dry

Tell me
Tell me
What's the matter Mary Jane

Ironic
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic... don't you think

(chorus)
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well, isn't this nice."
And isn't it ironic ... don't you think

(repeat chorus)

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everthing blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little too ironic.. and yeah I really do think...

(repeat chorus)

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
And life has a funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

Not The Doctor
I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours
I don't want to be your glass of single malt whiskey
Hidden in the bottom drawer
I don't want to be the bandage if the wound is not mine
Lend me some fresh air
I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you
I don't want to be to be your babysitter
You're a very big boy now
I don't want to be you mother
I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months
Show me the back door

(chorus)
Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at half past six
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I'm not the doctor

I don't want to be the sweeper of the eggshells that you walk upon
I don't want to be your other half I believe that 1 and 1 make 2
I don't want to be your food or the light from the fridge
on your face at midnight
Hey what are you hungry for
I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don't want to be your idol
See this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights
I don't want to be lived through
A vicarious occasion
Please open the window

(repeat chorus)

I don't want to live on someday when my motto is last week
I don't want to be responsible for your fractured heart
and its wounded beat
I don't want to be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling
What do you thank me
What do you thank me for

(repeat chorus)

Wake Up
You like snow but only if it's warm
You like rain but only if it's dry
No sentimental value to the rose that fell on your floor
No fundamental excuse for the granted I'm taken for

Cause it's easy not to
So much eaiser not to
And what goes around never comes around to you

You like pain but only if it doesn't hurt too much
You sit...and you wait...to receive
There's an obvious attraction
To the path of least resistance in you life
There's an obvious aversion no ammount of my insistance
could make you try tonight

Cause it's easy not to
So much easier not to
And what goes around never comes around to you
To you to you to you to you to you...

There's no love no money no thrill anymore
There's an apprehensive naked little trembling boy
With his head in his hands
There's an underestimated and impatient little girl
Raising her hand

But it's easy not to
So much easier not to
And what goes around never comes around to you
To you, to you

get up get up get up off of it
get up get up get up off of it
get out get outta here enough already
get up get up get up off of it
wake up 1111111111111111
You Oughta Know (reprise, some copies)
I want you to know that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theater?
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're still alive

(chorus)
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap on the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're still alive

(repeat chorus)

Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me
And i'm not going to fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And everytime I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it ... well can you feel it?

(repeat chorus)

Your House ("hidden" last song)
I went to your house
Walked up the stairs
Opened the door without ringing the bell
Walked down the hall
Into your room where I could smell you

And I shouldn't be here
Without permission
Shouldn't be here...

(chorus)
Would you forgive me love if I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love if I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love if I stay all afternoon?

I took off my clothes
Put on your robe
Went through your drawers
And I found your cologne
Went down to the den
Found yor cd's
And I played your Joni
And I shouldn't stay long
You might be home soon
Shouldn't stay long

(repeat chorus)

I burned your incense
I ran a bath
I noticed a letter that sat on your desk
It said:
"Hello, love.
I love you so, love.
Meet me at midmight."
And no, it wasn't my writing
I'd better go soon
It wasn't my writing

So forgive me love If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love for the salt in your bed
So forgive me love If I cry all afternoon